Braves Report

Bad news Braves fans, I, like I’m sure you as well, have a dreaded case of the Chop Town Blues. And boy, do we got it bad.

Let’s face it folks, we stink right now. And to be honest, that’s an understatement. As I write this, the Braves currently sit tied for last with the Nationals in last place, and boast an outstanding 3-6 record. Three games ago, the Braves were .500, but thanks to an awesome 3-game losing streak, that’s no longer the case. I know it’s early, but things are looking quite bad right now.

Shall we start with the pitching? “I think that’d be a great choice, bstarter!” exclaim the Braves-Report readers. Well, all right, then. Smoltz and Hudson are the only two good pitchers we have. There, I said it. It had to be said. Glavine is good, but he still throws too many pitches. If he can keep his count down, all should be fine. Jurrjens is still unproven and prone to bad starts, as evidenced in his last game, where he gave up 4 over 7 innings. Not the worst start, but certainly not the best. Chuck James is another bad egg, too, but it’s probably because he’s really not healthy. Pulled in the 3^rd last night after giving up a measly 6 runs. Oh, and here’s a little fun fact for ya, the Braves put Soriano on the DL to make room for Chuck. A move that proved to be most effective, especially since Soriano was one of the only decent arms in the pen. Then, there’s Hampton. Oh, Hampton. When you’re not on the DL sucking the Braves money, you’re….you…well…I don’t what the hell you’re doing! Hampton back on the DL for the ninth year straight continues to please with his absence, and even further increases the chance at that inevitable buyout come season’s end. In summary, the rotation is a mess, an absolute mess, and the bullpen is no gem either.

Who’s in the pen, you ask? We have Boyer = sucks, Ring = sucks, Resop = sucks, Acosta = sucks, Bennet = meh, Moylan = getting good, and Ohman = surprisingly good.  To sum things up a little better, the first 5 I just mentioned don’t have an ERA below 4.00. Other than Bennet, the closest is Boyer with 7.94 and a nice blown game on Monday. The highest we have is a sparkling 15.75 by our main man, the one we gave a contract extension too, Chris Resop! Boy, what a feat. Numbers aside, it seems that everyone in the pen sucks, doesn’t it? It seems every time one comes in, they give up a run, or at least get into a jam. We’re at the point where we have no confidence in anyone in the pen. The only way the pen can hold a game, it seems, is if the offense sustains a 4-run lead in the late innings. That doesn’t seem too tough, does it? Well, have you seen the offense on this team?

When the Braves aren’t giving up runs, they’re striking out, or getting out some other way. Only three everyday starters are batting above .300. Our big power bat, Mark Teixeira, is batting a whopping .167. But, wait, it’s okay; Tex always gets off to a slow start. What a load of crap. So, we’re supposed to just sit here with our thumbs up our asses and wait until Teixeira gets good? That sounds like a great plan! The Braves are just failing on all fronts. They can’t get runners on, and if they do, they can’t get them in. They’re not looking at pitches, and they’re popping it up to the infield. The offense is very weak right now. And aside from those few bursts of excitement (KJ’s pinch-hit GS), it doesn’t look like it’s going to change any time soon.

Now, I’ve already said it once, but I’ll say it again, it’s early. I know, I mean, hey, look at the Tigers, they just won their first game of the season yesterday. It is early, but it won’t be for long. Once it hits May, no more excuses. Hell, by May it may even be too late already. If the Braves don’t snap out of this funk, and I use that word lightly, then they could be permanently stuck in the sticky gooey bottom of the NL East. But, they did lose a game by 6 runs last night instead of 1. I think that may be the early signs of a turnaround!